Life can change in an instant, and sometimes the aftermath leaves you questioning everything. At 35, I quit my job after my husband’s sudden death, and six years later, I’m still navigating the unexpected challenges of rebuilding a career. But here’s where it gets complicated: what happens when grief, cultural shifts, and a tough job market collide? And this is the part most people miss—how do you pick up the pieces when the future you planned no longer exists?
My name is Alex Delaney, and this is my story. In 2018, when I was 34, my husband collapsed unexpectedly in our London apartment. Within 45 minutes, he was gone—a victim of a pulmonary embolism caused by deep vein thrombosis. We had been trying for a child through IVF, and in an instant, the life we had envisioned vanished. The shock was overwhelming, and for years, my body and mind struggled to recover. The fog of grief lingered, making it impossible to focus on anything, let alone work.
But here’s where it gets controversial: Some people find solace in work after a loss, but for me, it felt meaningless. I stepped back from my role as a PR manager, despite my employer’s incredible support. Even a phased return over six months didn’t help—I felt disconnected, nihilistic, and utterly unmotivated. Work, once a priority, no longer mattered.
In 2019, I took a part-time role at a women’s charity, hoping to ease back into my career. But within months, I found myself in an executive director position, burned out and exhausted. I resigned in 2020, craving time to heal and focus on myself. Since then, I haven’t been employed.
Life, however, had other plans. I remarried, moved to Chicago, and became a mother to two beautiful children. Yet, as I adjusted to my new role as a parent, the desire to re-engage with the professional world grew. But here’s the harsh reality: Reentering the workforce after years away is daunting. I’ve applied to 10 jobs, but the market is tougher than I anticipated. Employers struggle to see how my UK experience translates to the US, and the cultural differences—especially around self-promotion—are stark. In the UK nonprofit sector, humility is valued; in the US, you’re expected to boast about your achievements. Add post-maternity confidence struggles to the mix, and the challenge feels insurmountable.
Despite these hurdles, I’ve found purpose in starting Lemons.Life, an affordable online will-writing service inspired by my own experience. My first husband died without a will, complicating the division of his assets. While Lemons.Life is a side project, it’s something I’m incredibly proud of.
Looking back, I wish I’d pushed harder in my 20s, instead of staying in roles for the sake of future maternity leave. Life has dealt me a challenging hand, but I’m more resilient because of it. Still, the impact on my career is undeniable.
Here’s the question I leave you with: How do we balance personal healing with professional ambition? And is it ever truly possible to ‘catch up’ after years away from the workforce? Let’s discuss—I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.**
